#ASKGIBB : A HOMOPHOBIC BEST FRIEND

Hey Gibb, welcome back! Haha.

I am Dave, a public university student. I am a gay, who is still in the closet. However, I have made a public support to LGBT group.

I am facing some problem. When I was in a secondary school, I had a good friend named T. I bonded really well with him. Bonding with him really made me really comfortable to be gay. T was really a nice guy. However, we were just friends.

As time passes, T and I move in the different directions to continue our tertiary education. Around a year back, he wished me happy birthday and started to hit off (friendly catch up). We get close. Our conversation is very gayish, I guess. We talked about penises, sex, and racist things.

Things get really weird when he openly said that I am a secretly gay and I like boys. But I always never cared about what he said. I always hid my sexual orientation from him.

I get really jealous when he goes out with his girlfriends to the club or any other friends (I don't know why?). He also started to take a step away from me. In fact, I am blurred why he was doing so.

We had a surprise encounter in a mall. Again, he told me that I am very gay (well I am one). He told that and went off. His Facebook status are also kinda homophobic. I like him, should I come out to him? I mean he still a good friend, although at the time he never replies to my concerns. But I don't want to lose his friendship.

Help!!! Please.

(Dave)

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Hello Dave,

Thank you for sharing your problem in this slot. Firstly I wanna apologize because I promise to share my thought about your case yesterday, but last night I felt really tired and a bit emotional. But here I am!

To be honest, I hate T reaction towards you. I think he should respect you as a friend and not judging you base on your sex orientation. I know you like T so much and you want that friendship to last long, but if T keeps hurting your feeling, then you need to move on sir.

I had a few homophobic friends back then, and clearly, I just ignoring them if they call me a sissy or faggot. Maybe some of the insults may hurt my feeling, but I just laughed about it and make it a joke anyway. I need to act normal on that time because I want to maintain a good relationship with them. I don't wanna be left alone in the class. I still wanna enjoy my time in the college and not being a loser.

I know being gay is hard for us, but we need to face the fact anyway. If you wanna save this friendship, you need to control yourself in front of him. don't act too gay. Change your appearance, change your lifestyle. That's why the word discreet exist. I know the purpose of friendship is to accept who you are as you are. But if you still wanna be his friend, and you love him, you need to change buddy.

Another option is, you just tell him the truth. After that, you will know who is your real friend, and who is not. If he cannot accept you as you are, then he is not your real friend.

Be strong Dave, don't hurt your feeling just because of a man.

Never lose hope.